(Transcript of a Bible study taught at Landmark Baptist Church on 16 March 2014; landmarkbaptistga.com)
In this study, I would like to survey the biblical references to gentleness in its three forms (gentle, gentleness, and gently). My inspiration for this study came partly from a greeting card that I bought on a business trip to Tempe, Arizona, last fall (2013). I stopped in a gift shop at the Phoenix airport specializing in American Indian collectibles and was delighted to find some wholesome greeting cards. One group of them had various Indian proverbs on the covers, and one of them startled me with its biblicity: “Gentleness is the greatest strength.” My mind went to the scriptures, and I thought of some that support this principle, which I would like to look at in more detail in this study for our edification.
INTRODUCTION
By way of introduction, let’s take a quick look at the statistics concerning usage of this word and its forms in the scriptures and establish a definition of gentleness.
• Usage. This word and its forms occurs 11 times in the scriptures, four in the old testament (OT) and seven in the new testament (NT). So it’s a more prevalent theme in the NT than in the OT. It’s also noteworthy that five of the seven NT references are in the Pauline epistles, which I don’t think is a coincidence. The mystery age, more than any other is characterized by gentleness, and we’ll see why later on when we look at each of the references.
• Definition. In Is. 40:11, we read of the Lord GOD “gently lead[ing]” his flock, Israel, “like a shepherd.” This reminded me of Jacob’s sly proposal to Esau in Gen. 33:14 to precede him so that he can “lead on softly” with his cattle and children. So to gently lead is to softly lead, and gentleness can be defined by the scriptures, I think, as softness in manners. It’s related to meekness, as we’ll see, but not exactly the same.
• Gentleness does not preclude masculinity; on the contrary, masculinity includes gentleness. Some think that gentleness only pertains to women, but that just shows their ignorance of God and his book. Only one reference to gentleness in the scriptures pertains to women (1 Thes. 2:7—a nurse’s manner with children), but the others are masculine or general.
o Gentleness does not indicate effeminacy. On the contrary, the scriptures and real life portray effeminate men, or “them that abuse themselves with mankind” (1 Tim. 1:10) as having great proclivity toward violence. Consider the sodomites’ behavior toward Lot and his angelic guests and the violent death of the Levite’s concubine at the hands of the men of Gibeah (Judg. 19:25-28). These “effeminate,” as Paul refers to them in 1 Cor. 6:10, are anything but gentle, and they abuse the poor concubine “all the night until the morning” (19:25), which we can be sure would have been the same treatment Lot’s daughters and even the angels themselves would have received from them.
o Also, gentleness is not same as being “genteel.” One could be that on the outside and still not be truly gentle in his heart. Richard “Beau” Nash was a social celebrity and master of ceremonies at the fashionable resort of Bath in Wesley’s day. According to Christian History magazine (Vol. 1, No. 2), Nash “lived high, gambled with great stakes, and had very bad luck confronting John Wesley. Nash told Wesley that he did not like Wesley’s preaching. Wesley asked if Nash had heard any. Nash had not but kn[ew] of Wesley’s preaching through the reports of others. Wesley then asked whether he should judge Nash only by others’ reports of him. Nash was silenced by this rebuke, and one old woman rubbed salt in the wound by telling Nash to leave alone the man who could give them all God’s word.” Nash may have been genteel, but he was anything but gentle with Wesley.
ATTRIBUTE OF GOD
So with these statistics and definition in hand, the first thing to note about gentleness is that it is an attribute of God. Most people, even those who don’t know God, would agree that gentleness is a virtue and desirable. When groups of people are addressed, it’s customary to address them as “ladies and gentlemen,” implying that it’s the norm for men to be gentle. Any desirable human behavioral trait (kindness, fidelity, patience, etc.) can be traced back to the ultimate good, which is God. Small wonder, then, that, along with references to human gentleness in the scriptures, we find references to divine gentleness.
It’s striking to see that gentleness is clearly ascribed to each member of the Godhead.
• Father. David ascribes gentleness to the Father in Psalm 18:35 and its companion passage in 2 Sam. 22:36. The reference to “thy gentleness” is aimed at God (cf. v. 32), i.e. the Father, in the context.
• Son. Paul ascribes gentleness to Christ in 2 Cor. 10:1, and he beseeches the Corinthians in its spirit not to question his authority (vv. 8-9), rather than try to scare them into submission.
• Spirit. When Paul lists the ninefold fruit of the Spirit in Gal. 5:22-23, one aspect of it is gentleness, affirming the gentleness of the third member of the Godhead as well.
So gentleness is found to be one aspect of the nature of God, with clear reference to its presence in each member of the Godhead. When James characterizes heavenly wisdom in James 3:17, one aspect of it, like the fruit of the Spirit, is gentleness. Godly wisdom does not bring hardness but gentleness. Note the easy treatment that comes from it, along with peace, mercy, impartiality, and sincerity. Gentleness is one aspect of the glory and holiness of God: glorious in him, but also latent and desirable in us, because of his indwelling.
KINGDOM GRACE
All of the references to gentleness in the prophetic/kingdom scriptures are connected with David, a very gentle man and a type of the Lord Jesus Christ. David mentions God’s gentleness toward him in 2 Sam. 22 and Ps. 18, as above. He can appreciate gentleness, because he himself is gentle (cf. 2 Sam. 3:39). If you appreciate God’s holiness, it’s a pretty good indicator that you are holy yourself. People who are filthy have no appreciation for purity. Paul said in Tit. 1:15, “Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled.” It’s the pure that appreciate purity and see things purely. So David praised God’s gentleness because it was present in his own life.
o He was a gentle man in his dealings, actually to a fault. Note his soft manner toward Mephibosheth, grandson of his archenemy, King Saul. Note also his gentleness toward Absalom, his upstart son who would have killed him (2 Sam. 17:2—what Ahithophel proposes). He charges his generals—Joab, Abishai, and Ittai—to deal gently with Absalom (2 Sam. 18:5), who really did not deserve it, and did not receive it from God in the end. He got his just deserts, according to the fourth commandment (Ex. 20:12).
o Here is an important principle re: the graces, though. There is a godly, righteous gentleness, but there is also a worldly gentleness, like David shows here, that is not righteous. He’s actually showing partiality, which James said is not an aspect of godly wisdom, as we saw earlier.
So gentleness has its place, a godly gentleness that is. A saint must be careful, however, to avoid gentleness where it would not be righteous to show it, as in the case of David and Absalom. God overruled David’s partiality, and Absalom reaped for his capital crime.
MYSTERY GRACE
If the Godhead is living its life out through members of the body of Christ, as Paul affirms in Rom. 8:10 (Spirit), Gal. 2:20 (Christ), and Phil. 2:13 (Father), of course gentleness should characterize our walk and ministry.
1. Walk. Titus 3:2. Our overall manner of life should be gentle, not violent, and meek, or submissive (context is obeying earthly powers; cf. 1 Pt. 3:4-5 for a fine definition of meekness as a spirit of submission—meek and quiet spirit = being in subjection). Gentlemen settle their differences with words, not fisticuffs. If you strike the first blow, you’ve lost the argument. I have a book at home entitled,
How to Raise a Gentleman, and there’s an earlier book on
How to Be a Gentleman. It’s a dying art in these last days, but should still characterize the lives of Christians, if nobody else. No one likes a bully, folks. Roughness proves nothing but carnality. The “rich answereth roughly” (Prov. 18:23), when he ought to “shew himself friendly” (v. 24). He’s rough because he’s carnal. Some macho men may deem our faith effeminate, and nowadays culture and apostasy have made many saints just that, but Christ, Paul, and David were all men’s men and they were gentle. Satan would love for you to be rough, uncouth, offend people unnecessarily, and ruin your testimony. Granted, you can’t please everyone, and the Corinthians accused the gentle Paul of being “rude in speech” (2 Cor. 11:6). Some believers have latched onto that as support for rudeness, but they’re wrong. The thin-skinned Corinthians mistook the plainness of Paul’s speech (2 Cor. 3:12) for rudeness, but there was nothing about it that could be justly condemned, like jesting, minced oaths, or profanity (Titus 2:8).
2. Ministry. 1 Thes. 2:7; 2 Tim. 2:24. Paul said that he and his fellowlabourers treated the Thessalonians gently upon their conversion to Christ, and this is an important example for ministers to take note of. Young converts need to be handled gently, due to their lack of knowledge and infirmities. But per 2 Tim. 2:24, gentleness should characterize our ministry as a whole, since young converts are not the context here, but a minister’s dealings with “all men,” saved and lost. This goes right along with our calling as “ambassadors for Christ” in 2 Cor. 5:20. Ambassadors are not belligerent but gentle and peaceful. The presence of an embassy in a country means peaceful intentions, and in our case God is using us to help sinners be make peace with him through our Lord Jesus Christ (Rom. 5:1 etc.). We should not strive with anyone in a carnal way, only in a spiritual, and the key to keeping them separate is meekness, or a spirit of submission, even when dealing with unbelievers.
CONCLUSION
Gentleness is an attribute of the Godhead and is manifest in the lives of saints in both the kingdom and mystery programs. The scriptures show Father, Son, and Holy Ghost all to be gentle by nature, and King David and Paul and his company were gentle. Pretty good role models, wouldn’t you say? A man after God’s own heart (in the OT) is gentle (1 Sam. 13:14; Acts 13:22). To follow Christ and Paul in the NT is to be gentle (1 Cor. 11:1; 2 Cor. 10:1). Rather than making him a pipsqueak, wimp, or effeminate, David said that God’s gentleness made him great. You could look at this two ways. In context, it’s saying that God, in his gentleness, made David great. God was tenderfully merciful toward David, and David appreciated it. On the flip side, to make a free spiritual application, gentleness will set you apart as a saint. Truly great saints are invariably gentle saints. If you’re not gentle, you’re not a great saint. I’d like to close with an anonymous old poem, based on Psalm 15, that supports the thought that gentleness, and not roughness, is the mark of a great saint.
A Gentleman (Psa. xv)
‘Tis he whose every thought and deed
By rule of virtue moves;
Whose generous tongue disdains to speak
The thing his heart disproves.
Who never did a slander forge
His neighbor’s fame to wound;
Nor hearken to a false report
By malice whispered round.
Who vice in all its pomp and power
Can treat with just neglect;
And piety, though clothed in rags,
Religiously respect.
Who to his plighted word of truth
Has ever firmly stood;
And, though he promised to his loss,
Still makes his promise good.
Whose soul in usury disdains
His treasure to employ;
Whom no reward can ever bribe
The guiltless to destroy.
(from Mudge's
Poems with Power to Strengthen the Soul)
Now that’s a gentleman, folks, and a great man. It’s not might or power that make one great, but one’s submission to God and kind treatment of others. The world may call that weakness or effeminacy, but that’s what God is looking for in this age of grace, and it will determine the power he gives you to exercise over others in the ages to come. “I…myself beseech you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ…”
